How's that working for you? Having apposing thoughts about your goals is like being tied back to back with yourself and running in opposite direction.
Have you ever seen the movie "Dr. Dolittle," where the protagonist encounters a peculiar creature named the "Push Me - Pull You"? This creature had two heads and sets of legs, but when one end wanted to move forward, the other end pulled backward, causing confusion and stagnation. Similarly, many of us experience an internal conflict, where one part of us desires change while another part resists it, leading to a standstill in our lives.
Identifying this conflict within ourselves is the first step. The "Push Me" represents our aspirations, such as:
Wanting to go for a promotion, pay increase, or dream job
Striving for financial abundance
Feeling the need for career success
Aiming to find a great partner
Wanting financial freedom
Desiring to be free of addiction
Wanting to lose weight
On the other hand, the "Pull You" comprises the reasons or fears that hold us back:
Fear of failure or inadequacy stops us (people like me don't succeed.)
Financial insecurities preventing us from seeking abundance (who am I to get rich I'm not like other people)
Self-doubt about capabilities hindering career success (Everyone will know I'm a fraud)
Fear of rejection or disappointment in finding a partner feel overwhelming (not enough)
The habit of addiction gives us comfort and protection from trying and failing (at least my addiction is predictable so I am safe and I can avoid responsibility, it's not my fault it's the addiction)
Losing weight represents a time you felt desired and vulnerable so you fear that (I need to stay big to avoid being desired and taken advantage of, being bigger is protective)
This internal struggle is most evident when attempting to break free from limiting beliefs and pursue our deepest desires. For instance, let's consider the aspiration for financial abundance, which might be hindered by fears of failure or unworthiness.
Why do we resist change and sabotage our own progress? Because there's a perceived payoff in our current behavior. For instance, staying in a comfort zone provides a sense of security, even if it hinders our growth. Similarly, fears of rejection or failure can prevent us from taking risks and pursuing our dreams. If we take the time to look at why rejection and failure feels so substantial we discover that it comes from tribal times when if we were rejected or failed in our community we were pushed out by the tribe which inevitably lead to our demise. We could not survive on our own. This feeling is so deeply rooted in our subconscious that we equate it with death.
It's not that we don't know what to do to get to our goals but more of the internal fight to kill off that part of ourselves that is keeping us stuck because it believes it is truly doing something to help us.
So you see when you want to achieve something yet find yourself stuck in a pattern which is not taking you closer to your desired outcome remember the part of you who is pulling you in the opposite direction.
This subconscious decision-making is where our resistance to change resides, despite our conscious desires for transformation.
So, how do we break free from this internal tug-of-war? One powerful method I've utilized in my practice is Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT). RTT in combination with hypnotherapy helps individuals identify and dismantle negative belief systems ingrained in their subconscious, thereby removing the need for self-sabotaging behaviors and unlocking their full potential. Through RTT, I've witnessed clients overcome their fears and limitations, paving the way for profound personal and professional growth.
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